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The Divorce Mediation Process Step by Step

Happy November! In this season of giving thanks, we can be grateful that the divorce mediation process is now available and accessible for so many people going through divorce. Divorce is never fun and is often one of the most difficult experiences of a person’s life. Facing litigation only makes things worse. Fortunately, mediation can help people avoid litigation. While not every divorcing couple can take advantage of mediation, most can.

This month we are continuing our series on using mediation to avoid divorce court backlogs. Today, we will review the basic process of divorce mediation.

Steps in the Divorce Mediation Process

If you and your spouse agree to try mediation, the first thing you will do is choose a mediator together. Then you will schedule one or more sessions to try to resolve your case. The number of sessions will depend on the number of issues and the complexity of each issue. It will also depend on how willing each of you are to try to reach mutually acceptable solutions.

The mediation will proceed through several steps, in roughly the following order:

  • An introductory statement by the mediator setting out the rules and expectations for the process.
  • Identification of the outstanding issues in your case.
  • A statement from each of you explaining your position on each issue.
  • Identification and collection of documents and other information that you will need to bring to mediation to resolve each issue.
    • To settle economic issues such as property distribution, alimony, or child support, you will exchange financial information, including evidence of your income, assets, and household expenses. This generally includes documents like tax returns, w-2s, bank statements, etc. Some mediators use the court forms for this. Other mediators start with their own forms or checklists.
    • To resolve issues of child custody or parenting time, you will present information about your children. This includes how and where they spend their time, what kind of personalities they have, and any special needs that call for a certain schedule. You will also need information about your own work schedules and anything else that could be relevant.
  • A step-by-step analysis of each issue with brainstorming sessions to test out various solutions.
  • Preparation of a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) that puts into writing everything you have agreed to in mediation.

Steps that Follow Divorce Mediation

If you reach an agreement on all your issues, the next step will be for you to have your attorneys prepare or review a Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA). Once you both sign the MSA and file it in court, you will just need to complete the final paperwork, and in some cases, make a brief court appearance, and your divorce will be final.

Reaching settlement through mediation is completely up to the participants. Even if the court orders you to mediate, you do not have to agree to anything. If you reach only a partial agreement or no agreement at all, you are free to return to court and let a judge decide the remaining issues in your case. It is also possible to have a hearing on one issue in court and then return to mediation to wrap up your case.

Next month, we will continue this series with more information about the divorce mediation process, including information about caucuses, ground rules and confidentiality. Meanwhile, if you want to know more about any aspect of mediation, or if you are ready to start mediation, contact one of our experienced mediators today.

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