Divorcing couples sometimes wonder what kind of issues they can address in private mediation. The answer is that mediation is appropriate for any issue that you need to resolve to complete your divorce. Most couples start private mediation either before filing divorce papers or soon afterward, and most intend to resolve their entire case through mediation. Those who succeed can write up a marital settlement agreement and wrap up their divorce quickly. Those who come out of mediation with unresolved issues can take those issues to court.

As we discussed in our last post, the litigation process includes some opportunities to mediate. New Jersey court-ordered mediation, however, generally focuses separately on either parenting issues or economic issues. Before a court orders economic mediation, the parties usually must participate in the court’s Early Settlement Program (ESP). Private mediation can be much more efficient, as couples can address everything together before one mediator without delay.

Here are the most common issues that private mediation can help you resolve:

Dividing Marital Assets and Debts

Deciding how to divide up marital property is often challenging. The process (known as “equitable distribution”) tends to be paper intensive. To distribute your property fairly, you will need things like earnings statements, income tax returns and bank records. Litigation requires a formal process of collecting and analyzing these financial documents, which tends to be time-consuming and costly. Mediation can streamline the process and save you time and money.

Couples sometimes think that their property distribution issues are too complex for mediation. The truth is, however, that complex cases can often benefit most from the cost and time-savings features of mediation. You may need more sessions than someone with a simpler case, and you may need to hire experts to resolve certain matters, but mediation will still generally be faster and less expensive than going through litigation. Couples in mediation often use joint experts and summary reports to improve cost-effectiveness.

Negotiating Alimony (Spousal Support)

There are several different types of alimony or spousal support that may be appropriate under New Jersey law. Many factors influence this, and it can be hard to predict how a court will weigh the various factors. Judges have discretion and different judges may consider certain factors as more or less important. Mediation allows you and your spouse to decide which factors matter most. You can then reach a mutually acceptable solution about the type, amount, and duration of any alimony one of you will pay to the other.

The issue of spousal support is often intertwined with the division of property and debts. For example, a party entitled to support may be willing to waive part or all of this claim in exchange for certain property. For this reason, it is best to address property division and support issues together

Calculating Child Support

New Jersey has set schedules and formulas for calculating child support awards. The primary factors governing support amounts are each parent’s income, the number of children, and the amount of time a child spends with each parent. Parents must provide a child with at least the minimum amount that the law requires. Beyond this, however, parents often have disagreements over appropriate amounts for things like extracurricular activities, special needs, daycare, private school, or college. Mediation allows parents to negotiate these issues themselves rather than letting a judge decide.

Negotiating Custody and Parenting Time

Mediation is especially well-suited for resolving child custody and parenting time issues. Children need parents who can work together to determine what kind of schedule is in the children’s best interests. Judges making such decisions often default to cookie cutter solutions, as they do not have time to sift through the details of each child’s unique circumstances. Parents have access to all the information that is relevant to the best custody and parenting time decisions. Add in the fact that no one loves children more than parents, and it becomes clear that parents are most qualified to make such decisions.

Coparents who do not see eye to eye can find it challenging to come up with mutually acceptable solutions. Persistence can pay off though, and it is almost always worthwhile for parents to try to stay on good terms and reach decisions together.  Research shows that divorce is not necessarily inherently harmful to children, but it is harmful for children to see ongoing conflict between their parents.

Parties can choose private mediation to address parenting issues in the same process as financial issues. They can also choose to start with court mediation and move on to private mediation if they are unsuccessful.

Getting Ready for Private Mediation

Next month, we will discuss the process of divorce mediation in more detail. Meanwhile, if you think that private mediation might be for you, you can start to prepare by reviewing our checklist of what you will need.  You can also contact us for more information.