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Tailoring Mediation: Eva and Eric

In our last few posts we have been following three couples attempting to tailor divorce mediation to their own specific needs. Today we are looking at Eric and Eva, a couple in their early forties who have been married for 15 years and have two young children, ages 10 and 12.

In our introductory post, we learned that Eva blames Eric for the breakdown of the marriage. She describes him as a “workaholic” who has long been disconnected from the family. Eric does not contradict this, but says he now wants things to change. He is seeking not just joint legal custody of the children, but also 50/50 shared physical custody. This makes little sense to Eva, who observes that by his own admission, he has never spent much time with the children. She thinks joint legal custody is fair, but does not see shared physical custody as a realistic option. Eric, however, is adamant about this. Read more

Parenting Mediation: Five Tips for Success

baby with parents fingerParenting Mediation for Custody and Visitation Disputes

For many parents, making decisions about child custody and parenting can be the toughest part of a separation or divorce. Some divorcing parents also have to deal with multiple financial issues, such as spousal support or division of marital property. Others can resolve such matters fairly simply. Parents who have never been married generally have the easiest time separating financially. Regardless of these differences, however, the emotional aspects of physically dividing a family into two can be devastating. Parenting mediation can be a great forum for parents to air concerns and resolve anxieties while working together to build a successful post-relationship parenting plan. Read more

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Divorce Mediation up Close and Personal: Part VIII—Derek and Stacey Calculate New Jersey Shared Parenting Child Support

divorce mediation case study seriesWhen we last saw Derek and Stacey, in Part VII of “Up Close and Personal” they were wrapping up their third mediation session. They had made great progress working out their property division and deciding how to handle child custody, but they still needed to deal with child support, and possibly alimony. Read more

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Divorce Mediation up Close and Personal – Derek and Stacey, Part VII

child supportIn Part VI of “Up Close and Personal,” our divorce mediation case study series, we watched Derek and Stacey reach several major decisions regarding distribution of their marital property and debts. As we rejoin them, they are returning to their third mediation session after a break. During the break they reviewed some charts that their mediator, Ms. Smith, made up to illustrate the property division. She asks if they have any questions. Let’s see what happens next… Read more

Divorce Mediation Up Close and Personal – Derek and Stacey, Part IV

Two Parents Fighting Over Child In Divorce ConceptIn our last installment of our continuing mediation case study, we left Derek and Stacey in the middle of their second divorce mediation session. They had planned to make child custody the major focus of the session but were derailed early on by a tense discussion concerning the family home. Let’s see if they are able to get back on track after that and address their parenting issues. Read more

Child Custody Mediation: Some Common Concerns and a Checklist

child custody mediationDisagreements about child custody and visitation are often the most emotionally challenging aspect of a divorce for parents. Sometimes both parents want primary residential custody, and sometimes one parent wants to share parenting time equally while the other does not. A less common, but often very challenging situation is that one parent wants to drastically limit the other’s visitation time and decision-making authority due to some type of concern regarding the latter’s parenting ability.

When is mediation a good vehicle for attempting resolution of these kinds of issues? Read more

How Divorce Mediation Can Help Your Children

How divorce mediation helps kids

Most divorcing parents are concerned about protecting their children from the negative effects of divorce. This raises an initial question: Is divorce always bad for children? Social researchers have found this question difficult to answer—partly because no two families going through divorce are alike—but the consensus seems to be that divorce is not always bad for children. If a divorce removes a child from a high-conflict environment, the child may actually fare better after the divorce. This is because high familial conflict affects children more negatively than divorce.

It isn’t hard to understand how a child might feel relief when a high-conflict household becomes more peaceful. But what if your family is not experiencing high conflict? Read more